Coming out of the Dark

Friday, March 31, 2006

Femme Fatale

That's me! .. Not really, but thinking maybe my baked ziti did him in (almost) . *sheepish grin*.
So, B has been ill. It started with what he described as "indigestion", and despite my urging him to see a Doc, he kept blowing it off and od-ing on Tums...One of the things that annoys the shit outta me is whenever he complains, I tell him what he should do- After all, I AM a nurse, and a reasonably smart one at that. Does he listen? Noooooooo!!! He'll talk to one of his buddies, (usually the chef, or the computer geek) and they will often times give him the very same advice- THEN he does it!! Arrrgggg!!!
Ok so back to last weekend- this shit always happens on weekends. B's Doc is a relly nice guy- they are long time friends and have been so since before I was born :) Nice, however doesn't necessarily mean effective in some cases. Anyway, I finally convince B to call said Doc friend, and he finally, after my urging him to, agrees B should be seen. We meet him in the ER, where the usual tests are run, and surprise! B has a bit of a cardiac episode in the works. He was admitted and had an angioplasty done (where they attempt to clear occluded coronary arteries) and has 3, yes count em' THREE stents placed. He was functioning on just more than half capacity, NOT good!
Besides me, he is the worst patient I've ever known. But in my own defense, at least I have legitimate reasoning behind my non-compliance- I know what's available to me, and what I will and will not tolerate. He just refuses things because he can. I got a call from the hospital on day one. B is refusing to allow blood tests. WTF? why?? because "I'm sick of it all " Ok, B, says I- pack your bag and come home to die". He took his tests , I'm sure thinking he'd rather suffer at the hands of a phlebotomist than suffer the wrath of Me :)
Between this hospital bullshit and everything else, I am more than exhausted- He's home and doing well, thankfully, but I patiently await his apology for being such an ass - better not hold my breath :)
In other news, I'm feeling a little better today- the past 2 weeks have been a roller coaster, one day I'm feeling motivated, the next it's all I can do to get out of bed. P had a huge tantrum the other night, maaan, haven't seen one of those in close to a year- We were working on his cloning project when I suggested we try something different- He completely wigged!! Ripped everything he'd done into a million pieces, said I was a control freak hahahaha wait till he's old enough to have a girlfriend :)
I waited until the next day when he was calm, to make him redo the work he'd destroyed- He was not a happy camper- He's always been coddled by me- maybe too much, alot because I often feel tremendous guilt about his being bipolar- Like it's my fault.. Yes, genetics and all, but when it comes to my children, rational thoughts escape me. ANd of course, being who I am, it's so convenient to blame myself for things I truly have no control over.
The boys are having friends over tonight, So off I go to get snacks and such- I hope You are all well. I'll be back to catch up with all of your blogs later. I miss you all more than you can know.
Love and Peace*,
Mad

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